


Hold me tightly

by Tchell1



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: 2.03 coda, Alec makes it better, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Magnus is hurting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-18
Updated: 2017-01-18
Packaged: 2018-09-18 07:14:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9373916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tchell1/pseuds/Tchell1
Summary: “I thought you had died, Alexander” Magnus finally said as a way of explaining himself “I saw you die”





	

**Author's Note:**

> The episode would not let me go.  
> I have never read the books. I only saw the tv show.

Alec found Magnus still in the middle of his living room. Magnus’ eyes were lost somewhere outside of the window, his fists were closed. He did not seem furious; he seemed desolated and completely exhausted. Magnus looked exactly as Alec felt, even after activating the healing rune and sleeping for more than eight hours at Magnus’ bed.

 

“Hey” Alec whispered softly, trying to catch Magnus’ attention.

 

Magnus blinked and then turned slowly back to Alec.

 

“Oh, hey” Magnus said in a quiet voice offering Alec a broken smile. “How are you?”

 

Alec shrugged.

 

“I’m better” Alec said getting close to Magnus “You don’t look so good. Come lie with me?” he asked, caressing his hands over Magnus’ back. Alec could feel all the knots in it.

 

Magnus stepped out of Alec’s reach.

 

“I’ll go in a moment, Alexander. “ Magnus said turning back to the window. “You go. Sleep some more. You need to go back to the institute in a few hours.”

 

Alec sighed.

 

“Come with me.” Alec tried again.

 

He saw Magnus look down and blink a few times, his eyes suddenly filled with tears. Alec frowned, getting close to Magnus again.

 

“Magnus?” Alec asked “What’s wrong?”

 

Magnus tried to stop the tears passing his hands over his face, he was blinking nonstop and his eyes were changing from brown to yellow to brown. Magnus was losing control of his charms.

 

“I need a moment, Alexander” Magnus begged softly, still trying to contain the tears. “Just… Just let me be for a few minutes.” He said, turning his back to Alec in a clear rejection.

 

Alec sighed deeply, got close to Magnus and kissed his head.

 

“Ok.” Alec whispered “Call me if you need me.” He let his hand move through Magnus’ hair “It hurts me to see you like this.”

 

Magnus gave him the broken smile again.

 

“I’ll call you if I need anything” was all Magnus said.

 

Alec knew when he was defeated. He nodded and went back to bed.

 

It took him 45 minutes to fall asleep again. He thought of Jace, being treated as a murderer and a traitor. He thought of Izzy, suffering in silence and always supporting him. He thought of Clary, crying for him and for Jace and then despairing when Jace was taken. He thought of Magnus, with a broken expression, hurting alone, being mistreated by every shadowhunter he encountered.

 

Alec did not know all the reasons Magnus was crying, but he could relate. When he finally closed his eyes, his lashes were wet as well.

 

___***___

 

Alec felt when Magnus sat beside his back at the bed. He also felt when Magnus started caressing his hair. He opened his eyes and turned to Magnus, finding a pair of yellow cat eyes looking sadly at him.

 

“Tell me what’s wrong.” Alec asked softly again “Magnus, let me help.”

 

Magnus gave a soft sad laugh that broke Alec’s heart.

 

“I thought you had died, Alexander” Magnus finally said as a way of explaining himself “I saw you die” the yellow eyes blinked and Alec felt a tear fall on his arm.

 

Alec raised his hand, drying Magnus’ eyes and then touching the back of Magnus’ neck. He took two deep breaths, trying to contain the despair. Everything was so wrong and he could not see how they would all get out of this alive and well.

 

“I’m so sorry” Alec offered.

 

Magnus sobbed and turned his face to Alec’s hand, hiding himself. Alec could not watch Magnus suffer anymore. He raised himself and enveloped Magnus in a hug, guiding his head in his shoulder. Magnus’ sobs became stronger; his whole body was shaking with their force.

 

“You have nothing to feel sorry for.” Magnus managed to say in between the tears.

 

Alec kissed Magnus’ head.

 

“I’m still sorry.” Alec said.

 

He felt Magnus laugh sadly again.

 

“By the angel, what’s wrong with you.” Alec heard Magnus say “You- you were dying, you died! And you are still sorry.” Magnus sobbed “I couldn’t save you.” He continued in a whisper, the words muffed by Alec’s shoulder.

 

Alec blinked.

 

“What, love?” Alec asked

 

Magnus shook his head; Alec could feel Magnus’ desolation as if it was as solid as the bed they were in.

 

“I tried _everything_ , Alexander. I tried so hard to save you.” Magnus whispered desolated “I mean, I tried kissing you, dammit! True love’s  kiss and all that, as if I didn’t know better.” Magnus inhaled wetly “I should have known that no half demon would ever be able to wake an angel.”

 

Alec felt his heart break hearing Magnus’ pain. How much more could Magnus endure?

 

Alec took Magnus by the shoulders, pushing him until he could look Magnus in his eyes.

 

“Hey.” Alec said when it was clear Magnus was not going to raise his eyes to meet his “Magnus? Please,  look at me?” Alec asked gently. He waited patiently until Magnus raised two very golden eyes at him. “You saved me.” Alec said very confidently “Without you here, I would have died in the first hour. Love, Jace might have pulled me back, but you were the one keeping me alive.”

 

Magnus closed his eyes.

 

“You would still have died.” Magnus replied.

 

Alec took Magnus’ face on his hands, caressing his checks and guiding him into a kiss. Alec kissed Magnus as if the warlock was made of a very delicate material taking special care not to break him.

 

“Thank you so much for not letting me die.” Alec whispered “Thank you for not giving up on me”

 

Magnus was still not convinced.

 

“I tried kissing you!” Magnus repeated, as if Alec hadn’t heard him the first time. As if Alec had not immediately understood all the pain and hurt Magnus had felt when he realized the kiss was not going to wake him. “That is like… so pathetic. I know this is not how magic works . I know that and I did it anyway.” Magnus said helplessly.

 

Alec laid down again, this time, taking Magnus with him. Magnus came willingly, even if still a bit out of it. Alec positioned Magnus on top of him, his arms enveloping the warlock on a strong hug.

 

“People do crazy things when they are in love” Alec whispered into Magnus’ ear. “I kissed you on my wedding day.”

 

Magnus left out an incredulous snort.

 

“Are you comparing the two situations, Alexander?” Magnus asked. His voice was still very soft and very lost but he at least regained a bit of his humor.

 

Alec shrugged.

 

“I mean, both involved kissing.” He said as a way of explanation and felt Magnus laugh quietly on his chest “Love, seriously, without you there, I would have died. You saved me as much as Jace. You don’t need a kiss to prove that.”

 

Magnus raised his head looking back at Alec, studying him with his beautiful golden eyes. _True love’s kiss,_ Magnus had said. By the angel, Alec could feel himself rapidly falling in love with the beautiful warlock.

 

“I’m glad you are still here.” Magnus said finally, offering his mouth to another kiss. Alec did not disappoint him, taking Magnus’ mouth on his.

 


End file.
